As a newborn baby in this world we are already charged with genetical and epi-genetical information from our families. It sounds of course far more romantic to say that a newborn baby is like a blank slate. Unfortunately we carry on the sins of the fathers as our starting point in life, one that we will embrace and reject during our lifetime. Unless we reverse the process, we one day end up as our parents, within disgust after fighting the image for so long. With this burden, we start forming our personality, our identity, till we end up with so many personal and social personalities that it gets crowded inside us.
In our first stages we develop accordingly the already excisting input from our family and our first years are essential in forming our self. We like to copy the people that live in our close environment during this stage, they confirm the family input we already consist of. We copy mom or dad within cooking and other household chores, we like to have the same profession as our care takers. Even issues as hairstyle and clothing we love to copy. We’re starting to reflect our environment in ourselves and through this reflecting we start forming several personalities and sticking those personalities onto ourselves like labels.
The famous psychologists Freud and Erikson studied the shaping of personality and came up with 2 different theories. Freud’s psychosexual theory says that our personality is shaped by the age of 5, while Erikson’s psychosocial theory claims that the shaping of our personality will happen throughout our life span. When we look at genetical and epi-gentical input one can say that the building blocks for our personality is already formed before birth. The first years are indeed as Freud says important, yet not to shape personality, instead we need those years to reverse our inherited input. Reversing our pre-programming, to stop the sins of the fathers into endless vicious cycles. Whenever a human isn’t reversing the shaping of his personality then he will take, as Erikson says, a life span accumulating personalities and images for himself.
The first 6 years of a being’s life is according to Freud important to develop pleasure through the oral stage, to gain a sense of competence through the anal stage and identifying with their own sex through the phallic stage. Erikson says these first 6 years are to develop the feeling of trust versus mistrust through the interaction with their caretakers, to develop autonomy through eating and toilet training versus shame and doubt and to develop control over the environment through initiative versus guilt. When we look at these areas of development one can already see that when we as society are seeing these phases as important and points to put emphasis on we are fucked as a race. Developing our Self through finding self-trust outside ourselves will let us end up as junkies seeking for outer stimuli in order to be moved and motivated. A child will find pleasure when it can freely express itself and will trust it’s environment whenever there is self-trust within the child. This self-trust can only be stimulated when the care takers are the living example for the child and are trusting themselves in self-honesty. Competence is a feeling that when it is stimulated, it will make the child dependent on his environment for recognition. Learning to eat and learn how to be toilet trained are just practical tools a human has to learn and not a source of gaining energy from your environment to feel worthy or being capable. When the child starts to see which gender it belongs to and discovers sexual energy the caretaker has to direct this point and not covering it up with guilt and shame. Therefore along with the sexual energy shame and guilt will develop. Already at a young age society will push the child in specific boxes accordingly to their gender when it comes to toys, clothing and sexual preferences.
When we enter the stage of adolescence we re-enter the first stages again only now from the perspective of being a member of society and already molded by society. By the time we become an adolescent we have gained a lot of personalities inside ourselves to cope with our existence. For every occasion there is another face or personality. Although we have by then an inner crowd of personalities that’s so big, we feel like bursting out of our skin, we start searching for this one personality that is according to our inherited information equal or the opposite to what our family stand for. This causes a lot of inner conflicts and conflicts with their parents. Society through the media is forcing all kinds of images onto the youngsters. Being independent at this stage means making choices in what to wear, how to style your hair, what to like and dislike and what to revolt against and what to embrace as truly you. All the personalities inside the human have their saying in what to do or how to act, multiple voices are directing him and the inner voices start to become uproarious. These voices are called the back chat and are really vivid in this stage of a human’s life in order to cope with life.
Once a human has chosen an identity/personality we can see that, what was seen as a must have within adolescence, later in life personalities are something that follow each other up in a rapid speed. This so called personality which was after chosen carefully the one stable thing in life, the expression of you, yet it can be changed over nothing. Through input from outside, ads, television, movies, fashion and groups you belong to, you are willing to give up that what you before perceived as your true self, within seconds. This brings us back to the first years of our existence where we followed and were determined by our genetical inheritance through the example of our parents. We learned how to response on the stimuli from our outside world and how to gain trust by caring and giving attention to these stimuli. We never learned to trust ourselves and how to be stable within ourselves. This lack of trust allows us to cling onto personalities that apparently reflect our true self. Not trusting ourselves results in not trusting our environment. This ultimately results in fearing others and at the same time fearing ourselves.
How a world looks like when we are fearing each other is not hard to tell, just look around you and you will see what a fuck up it creates. All of this is just unnecessary suffering if we knew the tools of how to reverse our programming. If parents and youngsters would de-program themselves they could be a living example for the next generations to come. Then we could see that personalities are a representation of the ego.The ego that so egoistically wants to be in control and loves inequality over equality. Once we can see that personalities which we change over nothing are as the coat or pair of jeans that we so desperately wanted to have, but that the next year becomes a useless accessory which we throw away without any pain. With the Desteni i process you can learn how to trust yourself for who you are and how to reverse your pre-programming. Throw away your personalities and make place for an improved you that can assist the coming generations into a world that’s best for all.